Gahrrr

I just hate the following right now:

:: A philosophy exam on the 2nd which i know i won't get a high grade on. Why do i find philosophy so hard? This freaking mental gymnastics is just draining all of me. And this is just by reviewing for the exam.
:: The possibility that i won't get very high grades this semester. I am planning to shift to another degree program, and for that I of course need good grades. However, the first two grades to come out were not satisfactory for me. I don't know why i'm stressing too much over this. Prolly because I am only taking General Education subjects at the present, so i can't accept the fact that i'm getting low grades.
:: A friend's attitude. He told me he wasn't angry at me but he's fucking acting like he is. God. I am not dense. I can fucking see through these kinds of things, dammit. I fucking hate it when people are angry at me when i didn't do anything serious to offend them in the first place. Why does he have to get so pissed about it? Harmless teasing, that's what it's called. Gahr. This is just so infuriating.

I can rant all night, but these are the top three reasons for my being pissed off at the current time. AGHHHHHHHHHHH.

And a big DAMN IT, to cap it all off.

I can only take so much

First off, this is not an emo post. It's just a post wherein the thoughts that have been bubbling inside my mind are finally manifested into tangible form, i.e. this blog.

I don't want to take care of others's problems all the time. As if i don't have enough, already. My friends (or at least those who I confide everything to) know the things i am going through right now, and the incrementing of other problems by other friends force me to think and choose between them and that of my own problems. But i don't want to do that. I want to wallow in my own problems and think of solutions for them, dammit.

I received a text message a few days back that says "nothing is really wrong if your basis is yourself." It went on to say that one shouldn't be afraid to do what one wants to do, even if it meant hurting others in the process. If one isn't happy in one's current situation, then one should do something about it, regardless of what people may say after.

It just makes me think. Really.

Cyberstalking

is so fun to do! HAHAHA seriously. :))

Summertime is here

And it's raining.

Can anyone say Global Warming?

---

Blogging is hard. Or, at least, what i imagine what blogging is supposed to be like is hard.

:: I don't have the liberty to use the computer whenever i want (for electric bill purposes)
:: I don't have a decent camera in which i can take snapshots to put in here (hell, i don't even have a camera i can call my own), 'cause that's what i believe a good blog should contain: nice pics. don't know why, i just think it should.
:: I don't have enough exciting and noteworthy experiences i can jot down - or if ever i do, i will be attacked by laziness and end up not writing it.
:: Most of all, no one in my circle even knows i have this blog save for one friend. Therefore my audience is limited to the persons who log in Blogspot and click the Next Blog button. And on the off-chance you, the audience, actually drop by this blog, you couldn't care less anyway since it's just another blog, generic, common, uninteresting. What use is a writer who doesn't have an audience? All writers write for themselves, true, but they also write for other people.

So why am i still struggling and writing here?

I don't really know. I guess i like the feeling that i can write things in here that i can't in my other blog in my Multiply account. In here, i can write in English. I don't even understand why i find it hard to blog in English in my other blog. Just another one of my eccentricities, i guess? Sigh, i know i'm weird, but what the hell. To each his own and all that crap, right?

I'm blabbing to myself but under the impression that people will read this. Do i really lack attention? Hope not.

I think this is partly because blogging is easier than writing longhand in a journal. I have my own journal, yes, but only on rare occasions do i find myself jotting scattered thoughts here and there, with drawings and quotes and the rest of the package included. Typing is easier than writing. But i like writing. BUT i can be too lazy sometimes. BUT sometimes the novelty of writing is just so hard to resist. BUT it's just that i lack the initiative to write on a daily basis.

But BUt BUT.

My inconsistencies need some work. It'll all backfire against me in the long run if i don't do anything about it.

If only scientists can invent a cure for laziness.

Yeah, right.